Cop: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
Driver: "Because I’m too handsome to be driving this slow?"
Cop: "No. Your left indicator’s been blinking since Chennai."
A drunk guy was staggering down the street. A cop stops him and says, “Where do you think you’re going at this hour?”
The guy replies, “I’m going to attend a lecture on the dangers of alcohol.”
“Oh really?” says the cop, “And who’s giving that lecture at 1 AM?”
“My wife,” the man mumbles.
A police recruitment exam asked: “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?”
One guy wrote: “Call for backup.”
Thief: "I didn't mean to rob that ATM, it just happened!"
Cop: "Oh, so the hammer flew into your hands and the money jumped into your bag?"
Thief: "Exactly! You understand me!"
During a traffic stop:
Police: "Sir, do you know you’re swerving across three lanes?"
Driver: "Sorry officer, I was trying to avoid potholes, cows, and that pothole with a cow in it."
A man walks into a police station and says, “I’ve lost my wife.”
The inspector asks, “Any idea where she might be?”
He replies, “Hopefully not at her mother’s… or I’ll lose my mind too!”
Cop: “You were speeding! What’s the hurry?”
Man: “Sir, if I don’t reach home before my wife, I’ll have to explain why I bought biryani instead of vegetables.”
Cop: *sighs and waves him off*
Lady: “Officer, someone stole my scooter!”
Cop: “Can you describe it?”
Lady: “Pink, glittery helmet, floral seat cover, and a horn that plays Bollywood tunes!”
Cop: “We’ll find it. Or the thief will return it voluntarily.”
During lockdown, a cop stops a guy riding alone at midnight.
Cop: “Why are you out at this hour?”
Guy: “Sir, I’m escaping from my wife’s third lecture on healthy eating!”
Cop: “Take the highway. I won’t stop you again.”
A constable finally catches a guy who’s been evading tickets for months.
Cop: “You're like my WiFi — I see your name but never get to connect!”
Driver: “At least you didn't block me!”
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