Friend: “How do you get a guitarist to play softer?”
Musician: “Give him some sheet music.”
Q: What's a guy who hangs out with musicians called?
A: A drummer.
Q: Why is a drum machine better than a drummer?
A: It can keep a steady beat and won’t flirt with your girlfriend.
Q: What’s the range of a piccolo?
A: About twenty yards… if you throw it hard enough.
Q: What’s the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner?
A: You have to plug in the vacuum before it sucks.
Lady: “I didn’t send for a piano tuner!”
Tuner: “Your neighbors did.”
A trombonist had a gig on the day of the opera. He sent his housekeeper with instructions: “Just copy the guy next to you.”
The next day, he asked, “How was it?”
Housekeeper: “Catastrophe! He sent his housekeeper too.”
Conductor: “Follow the beat!”
Dhol Player: “Sir, the groom is dancing off-beat. I must match his vibe.”
Student: “Sir, I want to learn classical guitar.”
Teacher: “Sure. First, grow long nails, buy a ₹1.5 lakh guitar, and forget social life.”
Mom: “Music has no scope. Do engineering!”
Musician: “Even your ringtone is from a failed music career.”
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