Indian Jokes

India has a funny bone and that is proven with the number of jokes people share online. There is a regular search for Indian jokes that suit the Indian Sense of humour. We present below some short jokes in the english languiage, that will appeal to Indian sensibilities. We hope you like our effort and forward this page to as many people as possible so that you may bring a smile to their face and cheer them up.

Also please contribute jokes that tickle you. We try our best to select the latest funny jokes and post it here. Our jokes from India are sure to bring a smile to your face. If you wish to see any new category of jokes here, do send in a note.

Jokes On Bangalore

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If you throw a stone randomly in Bangalore, chances are, it will hit either a Dog or a Software Engineer !!

While the Dog may or may not have a strap around his neck, the Software Engineer will definitely have one !!

In India we drive on the left of the road. In Bangalore, we drive on what is left of the road !!

Q: What is the easiest way of causing Traffic Accidents in Bengaluru ? A: Follow the traffic rules !!

A guy was hunting for a house in Bengaluru. He meets an old lady who is a potential landlord. Conversation went like this: ...........

Old lady: "Where do you work, son ?"
Guy: "I work in Infosys." ............
Old lady: "Oh, that bus company ! Sorry, we rent only to good IT people !!"
It appears that Infosys operates more Buses than BMTC in Bangaluru !!

Bengaluru, where PG (Paying Guest) is the first business and IT, the second.

When someone says it's raining in Bengaluru, be sure to ask them which Area, which Lane and which Road !!

If a Bengalurean stops at a Traffic light, others behind him stop too because : The others conclude that he has spotted a Traffic Policeman that they themselves have not !!

Bengaluru is the only city where Distance is measured in units of Time.... !!

Auto-Rickshaw drivers, Grocery sellers and common shop keepers think that you earn at least Two Lakhs per month if you are in IT Sector.... !!

Out of every 100 Software Engineers in Bengaluru, 90 are utterly frustrated and the rest have either a Girlfriend or a Boyfriend !! or they are married.....

Bus drivers use horns instead of brakes !!

I quote: Bengaluru: The City where more people know Java than Kannada !!

Universal answer in Bengaluru is "Adjust Maadi !!"

Power cuts are the only time the whole family assembles together and members speak to each other......

Seeing this, BESCOM has decided to have a Tagline- Connecting people by disconnecting Power

Adjust Maadi !!

Sample Indian Jokes in english language

A modern employer is one who is looking for men between the ages of 25 and 30 with 40 years of experience.

What did one magnet say to the other?
I find you very attractive.

Crime doesn't pay...
Does that mean my job is a crime?

What's the definition of lawyer?
The larval form of a politician

" Do you think I should put more fire into my editorials?" the writer asked.
"No," said his editor. "Vice versa."

What part of the car causes the most accidents?
The nut that holds the wheel.

Customer to used-car Salesman: "What I'd really like is a car that runs as smoothly as you talk."

Jones: "Good Evening, old man. Thought I'd drop in and see you about the umbrella you borrowed from me last week."
Brown: "I'm sorry, but I lent it to a friend of mine.
Were you wanting it?"
Jones: "Well, not for myself, but the fellow I borrowed it from says the owner wants it."

Author: "I'm convinced that the publishers have a conspiracy against me."
Friend: "What makes you think so?"
Author: "Ten of them have refused the same story."

Two Hollywood stars met at a party.

'Darling!' exclaimed the first, your husband looks wonderful tonight, I've never seen him so fit and well. Perhaps its the new suit...?"

'No, it's not the suit. It's a new wife.'

Customer: "What do you have for greying hair?"

Druggist: Nothing but the highest respect sir.

Wise musings:
Men who treat women as helpless and charming play things deserve women who treat men as delightful and generous bank accounts.

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile..... somewhere, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Reached Safely
Date: 21 st July, 2004

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and we are allowed to send e-mails to our loved ones. I've just reached safely and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was .........

Will- power
'Mummy, please give me another piece of ice-cream,' said little Bunty.
'But you've had seven already,' her mother pointed out.
'Just one more mummy.'
'Well, this must be the last.'
'Thank you, mummy - but I must say that you've got no will- power.
- Tarun, Delhi
Do you drink?
"Do you drink?" the girl's father inquired of his prospective son-in-law."
"First tell me whether it is a question or an invitation" asked son-in-law.

- S. John, Mumbai
Slow Clock
Wife - A great disaster was averted today. When my mother was passing from below the clock, it fell. Had she been late by a few seconds, the bloody thing would have fallen on her.
Husband - "I know this useless clock is always slow!!"

- S. John, Mumbai
Moscow the Capital of China
A girl was yelling in the Church after the Chapel: "Oh God! Please make Moscow the Capital of China!"
The priest inquired: "Why must you pray so, my child?"
Girl: "That's what I've written in my answer sheet in the examination!"

- Deepak , Delhi
Shadi se Pehle ...

A sher is getting married in jungle. There is a big bash and all animals are dancing to the tune of loud music being played.
In a corner a chooha too is dancing.
He is asked, "Are bhai choohe, aap kyu nach rahe ho?"
"Mere chote bhai ki shadi hai....Nachunga Nahin? "
"Sher kabse aapka bhai hone laga?"
"Shadi se pehle main bhi sher tha!", replied chooha.

- Monu, Bihar
Pleeeez Don't Interfere!
   A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful. CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

  The wife stared at him. "What the heck is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

  The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."
- Sanjna, Chennai

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