Complex Problem

Sonu's parents had tough time convincing him to attend a party. They are more worried as he never pins down on any specific reason for his indifference. Ritu has a sweet voice. She is reluctant participating in music programmes. What is holding her back? There are no specific reasons for her behaviour. This behaviour is common not only with school kids, but also with the grown up college teens. They enjoy and admire while others perform but when it comes to their involvement there is lot of hesitation. The reason behind this behaviour is simply lack of confidence and a complex problem. If this behaviour patterns are not addressed properly, in future, they can result into major personality disorders. Exam tension is all over and now its learning time. Let us find ways to help our child grow devoid of tensions and dead lines.

So, this academic year, why not allow our child learn things differently Children tend to feel comfortable and content in their own-cocooned atmosphere. They don't show interest in any activities. The reasons can be- Inferiority Complex. IC can lead to extremes of behaviour. Children become uncomfortable in groups. In certain situations it can be deadly and fatal. Parents often encourage their children in various areas, but ignore on the most crucial aspects like complexes. A child not knowing how to behave tends to become timid, aggressive and also possessive. Psychological insecurity can result into IC. Teachers and parents have equal responsibility in helping the child to over come IC. Often IC can be noticed in the first child. It can be due to over pampering, possessiveness, and also protected environment in which they are brought up. They tend to develop jealousy, with the birth of a second child or when parents appreciate others children. IC is also seen in those children who migrate from rural to urban areas. The reason can be inability to communicate or it's a cultural shock.

It is also possible in those children who come from vernacular languages to English medium schools. Few children are dominating, which tends to over shadow the other children. Children get snubbed off due to inability to express themselves. We need to be very patient, understanding, and tolerant to help children over come IC. Let us help children overcome this problem by

  • Encouraging group activities that bring out expressive methods.
  • Having lots of interactive and communicative games.
  • Encouraging pair work where timid children open up in small groups.
  • Comparisons hurt a child. Appreciate his unique traits.
  • Don't criticise constantly. This makes him feel he is no good.

Encourage your child to participate in the activities he likes. When he enjoys he will feel more confident. Take note of small accomplishments of the child.

  • Teach the child the ability to overcome hurdles and bounce back with greater determination
  • Make the child feel he is important part of the family. When he has a sense of belonging, he will be comfortable. A family plays an important role in helping a child overcome feelings of inferiority and gain self- confidence. Allow him to face failures, this way he will learn to react in a reasonable way. As a parent you can make your child grow up to be a confident, and a balanced individual. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.

From : Bharathi Kaza
12th Jan ' 09

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